i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
