seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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