OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
