i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
