if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
