just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
