she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
