yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
