im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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