Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
