all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
