Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
