On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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