That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
