I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
