WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I want to have your abortion
tonight lets celebrate not being married
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
