i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
