she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
