and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
