Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
