now i know why i became what i already was.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
