How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There r osticjed everywhere
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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