We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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