i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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