In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
