So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
