I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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