Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
