my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
