is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
