it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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