How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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