We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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