wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
