You're completely useless in the revolution.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My breasts were aching with rage.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
