I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
false alarm. still invincible.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
