I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
