I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
