dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
