I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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