I want to stick my p in your. b.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize