friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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