I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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