What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
