at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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