hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
