just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
