So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's shark week go big or go home
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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