I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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