She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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