The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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