a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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