one might say we're banned from that church
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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