They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
