No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize