Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
