I seem to have left my pride at pride
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
