All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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