Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
